Sunday, January 1, 2012

Gizmo's 2012 New Year's Resolutions

My New Year's Resolutions:

1. I'll try not to chew Nikki’s slippers, watch, Yoga Dvd, or the book she's currently reading - and I promise not to eat the last page before she has a chance to finish it.

2. I'll be kind to the stupid looking Moggy-with-no-tail down the road, and I won't chase him (ah um, yes, well not that much). I'll also try and be nicer to cats in general. It's going to be difficult though: they really irritate me when they come into my garden and start prancing around with their noses in the air.  A kind of red mist comes over me and I go all Tom-&-Jerry on them.

3. I won't eat the toilet rolls in the bathroom - gave me bad indigestion last time anyhow !

4. I won't fart when there are human friends around (it's a good way of getting them off the sofa though :-)

5. I won't slurp Nikki's coffee in the morning, she doesn't put enough sugar in it anyway (but if she will leave that last little bit lying around, what does she expect ?).

6. When I'm going to throw up I'll aim for the tiles, instead of the last remaining bit of clean rug (even though the rug smells much more interesting when I've thrown up on it).

7. I won't roll around in horse poo and then jump on the sofa. Apparently horse poo smells bad to humans - I just don't understand why ? ... smells fantastic to me (much better than the sofa anyway).

8. I won't stick my head in the dishwasher and lick the plates. I got my collar stuck in there once, and it wasn't a good place to spend a few hours.

9. I'll really try not to woof at the postman. On second thoughts, maybe thats a bit too unrealistic. Let's just say that I won't woof so hard that I bounce up and down. Will that do ? I mean he's there for us woofers to woof at - fact. Simple as that.

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