Showing posts with label Dog sayings and jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dog sayings and jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Man's Best Friend ..

I was sent this by email from a friend I thought it was a good tale,:)

A  man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery,  when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered  dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall. It looked like  fine marble..it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a  magnificent gate and the  street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk. 



When he was close  enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven,  sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?'  the man asked.
'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to  open.'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept  pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the  road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After  another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt  road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.  As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning  against a tree and reading a book.




'Excuse me!' he called  to the man. 'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over  there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured  to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump,'  said the man.

They went  through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with  a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink  himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog  walked back toward the man.

'What do you  call this place?' the traveller asked.
'This is Heaven,' he  answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?  Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Another problem caused by de forest-station

Someone sent this to me in an email I thought it was funny :)


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Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar....

Doggie Joke.....
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a cool one when a good-looking female Belgian Tervuren comes upto them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Belgiansays, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative." Finally the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone...cheese mine!"



Taken from travelling dogs


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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dog Drives Postal Van

I just love it when the man tells the pooch the directions ..!





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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Steve Tasane poet - recites at Battersea Dogs Home





Steve recites a woofing marvellous poem for the doggies at the Battersea Dogs Home

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Stray Dog Prayer

Please send me somebody who will care!
I'm tired of running
I'm sick with despair


My body is aching
It's so racked with pain
And I pray
As I run in the rain
That someone will love me
And give me a home
A warm cozy bed
And a big juicy bone

My last owner tied me
All day in the yard
Sometimes with no water

And that was hard
So I chewed my leash
And God I ran away.........


To read rest of poem click here Tenerife forum

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dogs and changing light bulbs













Yorkshire Terrier: What me change a light bulb don't be daft... !, I am far to busy winding up the Rottweiller that lives next door.







Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?







Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.








Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!









Rottweiler: Make me.










Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.











Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!











German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.










Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.








Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!










Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."








Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?










Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...









Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Interesting facts about dogs





  1. It is a myth that dogs are color blind. They can actually see in color, just not as vividly as humans. It is akin to our vision at dusk.
  2. Dogs DO have better low-light vision than humans because of a special light-reflecting layer behind their retinas
  3. If never spayed or neutered, a female dog, her mate, and their puppies could productover 66,000 dogs in 6 years!
  4. Dogs’ only sweat glands are between their paw pads
  5. Like human babies, Chihuahuas are born with a soft spot in their skull which closes with age
  6. The breed Lundehune has 6 toes and can close its ears
  7. Teddy Roosevelt’s dog, Pete, ripped a French ambassador’s pants off at the White House
  8. President Lyndon Johnson had two beagles named Him and Her
  9. In Roman times, mastiffs donned light armor and were sent after mounted knights
  10. The Russians trained dogs during WWII to run suicide missions with mines strapped to their backs
  11. A dog’s mouth exerts 150-200 pounds of pressure per square inch… with some dogs exerting up to 450 pounds per squre inch.
  12. A one year old dog is as mature, physically, as a 15 year old human
  13. The U.S. has the highest dog population in the world
  14. France has the 2nd highest
  15. The average city dog lives 3 years longer than a country dog
  16. 87% of dog owners say their dog curls up beside them or at their feet while they watch T.V.
  17. Dogs can be trained to detect epileptic seizures
  18. Newfoundlands are great swimmers because of their webbed feet
  19. Basset Hounds cannot swim
  20. Greyhounds are the fastest dogs on earth, with speeds of up to 45 miles per hour
  21. Three dogs survived the sinking of the Titanic – a Newfoundland, a Pomeranian, and a Pekingese
  22. Obesity is the 1st health problem among dogs
  23. Dog’s nose prints are as unique as a human’s finger prints and can be used to accurately identify them
  24. At the end of the Beatles’ song “A Day in the Life”, a high-pitched dog whistle was recorded by Paul McCartney for his sheepdog
  25. 70% of people sign their pet’s name on greeting and holiday cards
  26. 58% put pets in family and holiday portraits
  27. There are only 350 Cisky Terriers in the world – perhaps the rarest breed
  28. The phrase “raining cats and dogs” originated in 17th century England when it is believed that many cats and dogs drowned during heavy periods of rain.
  29. Dogs have no sense of “time”

Friday, June 26, 2009

Doggy Quotes and Sayings..!

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."

--Franklin P. Jones

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
--Penny Ward Moser

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
--Will Rogers

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler


"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

"Cat's motto No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

"In dog years, I'm dead."
-- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
-- Unknown

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
-- Unknown

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
-- Unknown