"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
--Franklin P. Jones
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
--Penny Ward Moser
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
--Will Rogers
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams
"Cat's motto No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown
"In dog years, I'm dead."
-- Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
-- Unknown
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
-- Unknown
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
-- Unknown
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