Friday, May 4, 2012

Life According to Gizmo (It's a Dog's Life):

( Printed in Island connections....)

Hola mis amigos, and welcome to my column. This will probably be the last one for a while as I've got a lot on my plate at the moment (and I don't mean my dog bowl). As the spokes-mutt for Nikki's website:, I certainly earn my dog biscuits !

The other reason for giving my column a bit of a rest is that I don't want to bore y'all by repeating myself. I've written plenty about the things that matter to us woofers (dogs off leads, what you should think about before getting a dog, my "Out-of-Botty" experience at the vet,  problems for the older pooch etc), but if there are any more doggie issues you'd like me to discuss (or you just miss me :-) then send me an e-mail and persuade me to change my mind !

April 13th was a very important day for us pooches in the Canary Islands. It was the first time that a case of animal abuse was prosecuted in court (what took them so long eh ?). Hopefully this landmark case should set a precedent, and be the start of justice for animals who are victims of human cruelty here.

Addanca Candaleria, an animal welfare organisation brought the case to court, and are looking after the unfortunate dog: 'Vela' who had been beaten, nearly starved to death, and has scars from abrasive liquid poured over her. The alleged perpetrator of this abuse is an eighty-year-old man who denies the charges. Updates about this case can be found on Addanca Candaleria's Facebook page.

On the subject of animal abuse, hoarding animals can also be a form of cruelty. A hoarder is someone who collects far too many domestic pets (usually cats and dogs) without the ability or resources to care for them properly. The hoarder may not actually be beating the animals, but not looking after their basic needs (feeding them, keeping them in hygienic conditions) is still, in the end, a form of abuse, as the animals are certainly suffering. Often the person has a mental health problem and doesn't understand that what he or she is doing is wrong ! Whether or not the hoarder has psychological problems, or is just negligent, it doesn't really make much difference to the poor innocent cats or dogs who often suffer terribly.

Anyway, moving on ... I'd like to tell y'all about a rather strange e-mail that I recently received from an African chap called Nadu Totow Savimbi. It's a very sad tale of how despite inheriting a lot of money, he's been unable to access his bank account, due to the overthrow of the goverment in his country. Nadu explains that he has 20 wives, 78 children, and 10 grandmothers to support, and that he desperately needs my bank account details, passport etc so that he'll then be able to transfer his late father's 37 million dollar estate into my account. Of course he'll bung me a few million just for letting him use my account and helping him with his extended family.

Woof-bloody-tastic, no ? Sorry, but does Nadu really think I was born yesterday ? and doesn't he understand I'm a dog and unlikely to need a bank account ? Honestly, I've said it before and I'll say it again - some humans must have fur for brains !

I mean, why don't I ever get an e-mail from someone who says they're going to transfer two tons of dog biscuits to my bowl, just so that their dog can access it, as his own has been frozen. Now that would be talking my language, but realistically I suppose it's unlikely to happen ... a dog can dream though !

So, there you go. As I mentioned, I'll be taking some time off from writing my column before it all goes stale (which reminds me - must go and dig up that bone that I buried last month - should be nice and wiffy by now). But I won't be stopping this writing malarky. Far from it, I've got a taste for it now and so I've decided to write a book.

It's going to be a wooftastic 'tail' about a loveable ex-pat pooch living in Tenerife (funnily enough). He writes, from a dog's point of view of course, about settling down in a new country, how he copes with the cultural differences and learning the language (although woof-speak is universal, mas o menos, there are still some differences which need to be understood, otherwise a dog can have muchos problemas with his furry Latin amigos).

So the book will be a kind of doggie version of '"Walking over Lemons" ("Bouncing over Bones" ?) or perhaps "More Saliva than Salsa" ? It will have some wonderful illustrations by my amiga Annie Chapman and is all set to be a wooftastic best seller (that's if I can find time to finish it in between my naps ... phew, it's a dog's life and all that).

I hope you've enjoyed reading my columns (ps they can all be downloaded via the Island Connections website). Join me on Snr Giz Facebook page, keep checking  out and send me an e-mail me on if there's anything else that you'd like me to write about. Until then, it's hasta luego y 'chow-for-now' mis furry amigos.

Printed in Island Connections -


  1. Hi Gizmo,

    I,m Alberto & i,m writing a story too.. Its of my time in one of the islands dog refuges, two long years before i got my forever home.. Maybe we can meet for biccys & water to discuss our tails???

    bessos from Bertie..

  2. do you know what Gizmo we love all this dog talk.
    From Honey, Tammyana, Honey and the two felines Alioli and Bootsie otherwise known as TTT The Tenerife Tribe

  3. Muchas gracias Alberto and TTT for your comments :) I am glad Bertie found a home , it's an awfully along time to spend two years in a refuge !
    Hi TTT, glad you like the dog talk big meows to the moggies :)