'Nobody's Poodle' - Book extract

As you know if you read my last column in Island connections I am busy writing a book. It's going to be a wooftastic 'tail' about a loveable ex-pat pooch living in Tenerife (funnily enough). So the book will be a kind of doggie version of '"Walking over Lemons" ("Bouncing over Bones" ?) or perhaps "More Saliva than Salsa" ? It will have some wonderful illustrations by my amiga Annie Chapman
Here is a small extract from Chapter one ..............................

......... I've got no idea why they want to move to Tenerife, but apparently the weather is better - wall-to-wall sunshine, and they were talking about having lots of "quality time" to enjoy outdoors. Sounds pretty wooftastic to me - lots more walkies, and some sun on my fur when I'm having a nap. Apparently the locals call this a 'siesta', and that worries me a bit. Am I going to be able to communicate with the local woofers ? You see, us pooches have a universal language: 'Woof', but I'm going to have to get used to my new furry amigos' dialect.

Maybe I'll just stick to sniffing butt at first. Woofing very loudly to make yourself understood is considered a bit rude. I'm actually a very sophisticated, intelligent pooch (we might as well get that in on the first page), and I want to try and integrate with the locals. You know - learn the lingo, explore the culture, eat lots of garlic ... that kind of thing. So I'm hoping that, in time, I'll be fluent in Canarian Woof (which is apparently different from the mainland Spanish variety)..........'